Last summer, a few months after the G.R.I.T.S. saga, I reluctantly hopped into a cab to meet a first OkCupid date. [I’m not generally a cab-taker, especially at commute time, but I was running late, and the only way I was going to meet this gentleman NOT looking like I’d just stepped out of the shower was by arriving via air-conditioned vessel. I’m a sweaty gal.] I wasn’t interested in this Suitor at all. I was just going through the motions because I felt like I should. Because I was in the throes of sadness with another gentleman. I guess he was an OkCupid rebound date. While riding in the luxurious air-conditioning, I thought to myself, “I was excited when G.R.I.T.S and I went on our first date… Maybe I should just text him and see if he maybe ISN’T the crazy misogynistic man I had him pegged for…”
So I did.
Me: Hi G.R.I.T.S! This is Erin from back in March (I don’t know if you still have my phone number…). So, I was kinda in a weird place when we were hanging out, but I would love for us to get a drink in the near future if you’re into that. I hope you’re doing well!
I hopped out of the cab and went on my OkCupid date. [It was a dud as I expected it to be.]
Exactly 24 hours later [yikes], I received a response.
G.R.I.T.S.: Hey! Yeah, sure. Let’s grab a drink this week.
One of the big problems we had in our very short courtship was that I never responded to his text messages in a timely manner. At the time, he told me this really bothered him. Being aware of that, I was sure to respond quickly.
Me: Great! I’m free Monday or Thursday evening of this coming week. Do either of those work for you?
Me [on Monday]: So, does Thursday work for you?
Me [on Thursday, wasted]: So… Now you’re not responding to my text messages. I get it. You’re getting me back for not responding to yours back in the day. That’s cool. I probably deserve it. But, just so I know, how long are you going to play this game?
And then, I drunkenly Facebook friend requested him. Apparently, that’s my M.O.
Suffice it to say, the friend request was not accepted [I think I eventually retracted it in sobriety], and I never got a response to my belligerent, drunken texts.
Is anyone surprised? I would say no.
Fast forward to this morning.
I awaken to the following OkCupid message:
I’m interested. You seem a little like a female version of me – fun, blonde, and a little wild.
Shoot me your number, we can make plans and go from there.
Upon closer investigation, I find that the sender of the message is my good friend G.R.I.T.S.
My first thought was: Oh, shit! Am I offending the first commandment of OkCupid-ing?!
FIRST COMMANDMENT OF OKCUPID-ING: THOU MUST LOOK-EST LIKE ONE’S PROFILE PICTURES!
I immediately perused them only to discover that, by pure coincidence, one of my pictures was taken the VERY NIGHT I met G.R.I.T.S. (just a few short hours before – same clothes, same hair-do, same everything).
My friend G.R.I.T.S. is apparently not that observant.
I’m still contemplating the perfect response.
Current front runners:
I think you already have it. [My phone number.]
How’s Hans? [His dog.]
I’m open to suggestions.