Tinder: Not To Be Confused With Tender

I joined this “dating” app called Tinder. It’s sorta like Hot or Not meets a straight-and-gay version of Grindr

[For those who feel like they just read Greek… Hot or Not was (is?) a site where you could rank an individual’s “hotness”. Grindr is an app for the gays that tells you all of the men who are looking to hook up in your immediate vicinity.]

Anyway, in a fit of “it’s for the blog!”, I joined Tinder to… well… be in the know (?). On Tinder, there are no profiles to bother with. You are presented with nearby suitors. [Bonus*: the app informs you if you have any mutual facebook friends!] You simply scroll through an individual’s pictures and say yes or no. Then, if that individual ALSO says “yes”, you can message each other. 

I informed a friend from The South that I had joined. Our conversation went thusly:

Me: So. Yeah. Tinder. I don’t really think anything lasting will come if it. 

Him: I dunno. “Tinder!” It sounds like the start of something warm and wonderful. 

Me: Uh… I think your Southern accent is interfering here. You’re thinking of “TENDER”, which would be wonderful and loving. This is “TINDER”, which is like the spark of something hot and fast. 

Him: … Oh… yeah. I’m from The South. 

Anyway, I’ve received a few GEMS. Tinder is a whole new world of Dating-Via-Apple-Device! [*ahem.*]

Suitor 1:

If you were stranded on a desert island and could only bring 1 thing, what would it be? And don’t say a seat because that’s what my face is for. 

Suitor 2:

U like anal?

You guys. I just can’t. I give up. 

*Sarcasm