I agreed to go on a date with a guy from OkCupid this week. In planning, we exchanged the following texts:
Him: So, I’m not that familiar with the East Village happy hour scene. Do you have any suggestions?
Me: Sure! How about ThisBarWithAnAmazingHappyHour?
Him: Sounds great! I’ll see you there on Tuesday at 6:30!
It’s not great.
ThisBarWithAnAmazingHappyHour is INDEED a bar that has an amazing happy hour. So, obviously I won major cool points for knowing the hot spots.
ThisBarWithAnAmazingHappyHour is ALSO TheBarOnTheGroundFloorOfMyApartmentBuilding.
People. DO NOT MAKE THIS MISTAKE.
1. At the end of the night, you are forced to:
a. Lie about where you live because if he knows where you live, he is going to KILL YOU (always); and
b. Walk MANY BLOCKS out of your way to keep up the lie you’ve told. [Also, maybe in doing so, you might end up at the grocery store where you buy a bag of butter snaps pretzels and a jar of fake cheesy dip that you definitely DO NOT need to be eating.]
2. Though it’s probably not going to work out with this Suitor (for no particular reason, really), you might now be subjected to seeing him on a regular basis because this bar’s happy hour is THAT amazing.
Learn from my severe lack of foresight. Do not sacrifice your favorite happy hour (that also happens to be ridiculously convenient) to a first OkCupid date. Save that stellar location suggestion for when you will actually be grateful that your bed is a short trek up six flights of stairs (if you know what I mean).