OkCupid: G.R.I.T.S Revisited

Last summer, a few months after the G.R.I.T.S. saga, I reluctantly hopped into a cab to meet a first OkCupid date. [I’m not generally a cab-taker, especially at commute time, but I was running late, and the only way I was going to meet this gentleman NOT looking like I’d just stepped out of the shower was by arriving via air-conditioned vessel. I’m a sweaty gal.] I wasn’t interested in this Suitor at all. I was just going through the motions because I felt like I should. Because I was in the throes of sadness with another gentleman. I guess he was an OkCupid rebound date. While riding in the luxurious air-conditioning, I thought to myself, “I was excited when G.R.I.T.S and I went on our first date… Maybe I should just text him and see if he maybe ISN’T the crazy misogynistic man I had him pegged for…”

So I did.

Me: Hi G.R.I.T.S! This is Erin from back in March (I don’t know if you still have my phone number…). So, I was kinda in a weird place when we were hanging out, but I would love for us to get a drink in the near future if you’re into that. I hope you’re doing well!

I hopped out of the cab and went on my OkCupid date. [It was a dud as I expected it to be.]

Exactly 24 hours later [yikes], I received a response.

G.R.I.T.S.: Hey! Yeah, sure. Let’s grab a drink this week.


One of the big problems we had in our very short courtship was that I never responded to his text messages in a timely manner. At the time, he told me this really bothered him. Being aware of that, I was sure to respond quickly. 


Me: Great! I’m free Monday or Thursday evening of this coming week. Do either of those work for you?

[No response.]

Me [on Monday]: So, does Thursday work for you?

Me [on Thursday, wasted]: So… Now you’re not responding to my text messages. I get it. You’re getting me back for not responding to yours back in the day. That’s cool. I probably deserve it. But, just so I know, how long are you going to play this game?

And then, I drunkenly Facebook friend requested him. Apparently, that’s my M.O.

Suffice it to say, the friend request was not accepted [I think I eventually retracted it in sobriety], and I never got a response to my belligerent, drunken texts.

Is anyone surprised? I would say no.

Fast forward to this morning.

I awaken to the following OkCupid message:

I’m interested. You seem a little like a female version of me – fun, blonde, and a little wild. 
Shoot me your number, we can make plans and go from there.

Upon closer investigation, I find that the sender of the message is my good friend G.R.I.T.S.

My first thought was: Oh, shit! Am I offending the first commandment of OkCupid-ing?!


I immediately perused them only to discover that, by pure coincidence, one of my pictures was taken the VERY NIGHT I met G.R.I.T.S. (just a few short hours before – same clothes, same hair-do, same everything).

My friend G.R.I.T.S. is apparently not that observant.

I’m still contemplating the perfect response.

Current front runners:

I think you already have it. [My phone number.]

How’s Hans? [His dog.]

Dude. Really?

I’m open to suggestions.


OkCupid: They Sell Filters At The Hardware Store, Right?

Ya’ll. You read my blog. By now you know there aren’t many things that I’m not willing to share. [And honestly, if we were having this conversation in real life, instead of over the interwebs, that list would grow even shorter.]

I would go so far as to say that I sometimes lack a filter.

What can I say? We all have our crosses to bear.

Two Saturdays ago, I went on a date with a gentleman from OkCupid. I was a little tentative to agree to a Saturday night date because:

1. Even though I’ve jumped into the online dating scene (mostly) whole-hog, I feel like I should be able to find something [ANYTHING] else to do on a Saturday night, with people that I actually know. Saturdays are sort of sacred, I like to believe.

2. I was still in the midst of training for my half-marathon, and Sundays were my long run days [not to mention the fact that this particular Saturday/Sunday happened to be the evening of the time change, so sleep was going to be a fleeting mistress no matter what.]

I met this Suitor at 9:00 [let’s be honest, I was running late. 9:15] on Saturday evening at an amazing shoe-box of a bar in the East Village. On my journey to the bar [wherein I was hit on by a Skateboarding-Iron-Worker-Employed-By-The-Freedom-Towers-Project], I promised myself that I would spend no more than two hours and two drinks with this man. I had a lot to get done on Sunday [and had already spent all day Saturday recovering from Friday night’s debauchery… we’ll leave that story in the “things I won’t be sharing on this blog” category].

Once we got past the first awkward 30 minutes [such is the initial OkCupid date], we started to have a really nice time. The conversation never faltered. We laughed. There was some good-hearted ribbing. Two drinks and two hours quickly arrived.

“Do you want to go somewhere else?” my Suitor asked.

“Um…. Sure! Why not?” I answered. [Any dreams I had of conquering the next day’s long run were immediately dashed.]

We headed to another bar, where I enjoyed too many cocktails.

Confession: It’s really, REALLY hard for me to say “no” to free alcohol. [Can I get an “amen”?]

The events that next transpired are a bit hazy. They went something like this: I was having such a wonderful evening that I decided it was time for me to become Facebook friends with this gentleman I had known for all of 3 hours. The Facebook friend request/accept happened IN THE BAR. But, OH SHIT! I’ve already mentioned this guy on my blog, which is plastered ALL OVER my Facebook page, so now I have to TELL him about my blog. So I did.

In the moment, this all seemed like a normal, natural course of events.

The next morning, my head pounding with rage and my stomach triple-dog-daring me to even TRY to run, the preceding evening came back to me in a horrific flash.

I opened my laptop to seek out my new friend, attempt to do some sort of damage control. There was nary a trace of him. There wasn’t even a pending friend request. One of the following things must have happened:

1. When I got home at 2:30 [which was actually 3:30] the night before, I realized the folly of my ways and immediately unfriended him; or
2. This guy was truly a gentleman and knew that becoming Facebook friends on our first OkCupid date was a stupid idea and he did me the courtesy of unfriending me; or
3. I imagined the whole scenario.

There is a HUGE learning curve with online dating (and some of us are quicker than others *ahem*). Personally, I prefer to make my mistakes in the most grandiose way possible so that I am sure to learn from them. They are as follows:

1. When you set a drink and/or time limit for yourself before a date, you should probably stick to it. Sober-self is much wiser than drunk-self. [EVEN IF THE DRINKS ARE FREE AND SO, SO DELICIOUS!]

2. NEVER, under ANY circumstances become Facebook friends with someone you are on a first date with. [You guys. I know. I am SO DUMB. This is like, social-media/online-dating 101. You live and you learn.]

3. Don’t talk about your dating blog on your OkCupid dates.

4. Unfriend is the unsung-hero feature of Facebook.