Now What?

Actual conversation I had with my therapist today:

Me: So. Uh. I have jury duty tomorrow and, um… I’m actually kinda looking forward to it… cause…

Her: Cause it’s something to do?

Me: Yeah…

Now that I’m done with my half marathon, I’m experiencing some letdown. It’s like the day after Christmas. Sadly, there’s no half price half-marathon candy at Duane Reade the day after the race to lessen the blow. [This probably makes me a prime candidate for postpartum depression some day. Oh joy.] Training was such a huge part of my day-to-day existence, I feel sort of sad without it now.

So, now what?

I suppose the best strategy would be to set a new goal, one with a definite ending point or means of measuring my success [those goals seem to be the most satisfying, right?]. As I look back on my hopes for 2013, there are a few things that jump out at me.

10. Cook more. I have DRASTICALLY reduced my consumption (YAY!), but I’m still not really, actually cooking. I heat things up. Occasionally I make pasta. I wouldn’t really call those things cooking.

17. Go on some dates. OkCupid Month of Yes got a little waylaid by my training. I’m going to keep at it (I have a date tonight, actually), but I’m also going to explore some other options. I know that this is 2013 and everyone is on OkCupid, but sometimes it just feels so forced and fake to meet people through the interwebs.

19. Keep my room clean. And really, my whole apartment, while I’m at it. I want to buy some new furniture and linens, but I have decided that I cannot do that until I keep my apartment consistently clean for a good amount of time [what is a good amount of time? 4 months?].

25. Get back into dance class. This is an addition! I used to dance a lot [A+ for effort, but I was never going to be on So You Think You Can Dance or anything like that] and I miss it. Ideally, I’d like to take 3-5 classes per week, but they are expensive. I’m going to commit myself to one class per week and see how it goes from there.

For some reason, this video seems apropos. I can do anything good!

How do you pull yourself up after something major has passed?


Anxiety: Ain’t It a Bitch.

I’m dealing with a lot of anxiety this week.


Poor Friday night decisions (poor Saturday night decisions, for that matter), auditions, my inability to motivate myself to go on auditions, auditions that I bomb, work, lack of work, the half marathon, why I prefer to have a crush on a person who has no interest in me rather than pursue something with someone who is really interested, insomnia, the messy state of my bedroom, why my health insurance doesn’t kick in for another 17 days, money, how much I miss soda, how I should drink more water, money, my achilles tendon, my need for a new perfume (I like this one!), when I will have time to bake Irish Car Bomb cupcakes and Peppermint Patty cake before Sunday, my plantar fasciitis flare-up, my phone’s inability to keep a charge for a whole day, how I want to clean my apartment…

You know. The usual. [Oh wait. These things don’t keep you all awake at night, too? Oh. Hmm.]

Anyway, I’m brainstorming some ideas to quell said anxiety. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

1. Pot – I’m the worst at this. Once I had some crazy brownies and I found myself googling “Can you die from a pot overdose?” This is probably more anxiety-inducing that relieving (for me), but I’m open to anything.

2. Yoga – A friend of mine should call me “the girl who cried yoga” for all of the times that I’ve told her I would come and take her class and then bailed at the last minute.

3. Passionflower – It’s a natural, herbal treatment (like pot? Hmmm). The interwebs are raving about it. I’ll pick some up at Trader Joe’s and report back.

4. Running – There’s nothing like an endorphin release, right? Sadly, I’m having those running related anxieties, so it’s not quite the same high.

5. Cleaning – Chaos begets chaos. Clean is the way to go.

6. Reading – I’ve started reading before going to bed, and I think it’s actually really helping me! I know when I was in high school nothing put me to sleep better than my required reading assignment… HardyHarHar.

7. Xanax – Why not just bring out the big guns? Kiddingnotkidding.

What do you do to quiet your brain?