OkCupid: Veggies Are Not Just For Eatin’

You guys. I’m toying with the idea of getting rid of OkCupid and enrolling in a sewing class and calling it a day. Of course, then I would miss out on these sorts of gems.

From VeggieLuvr:

I was just at Trader Joes and noticed these two girls in the produce section. They were holding up cucumbers and taking pictures of each other. One of the girls sort of resembled you, so that drew me into your profile. You also caught my eye because you look like genuine person. It seems like most girls on this site are trying to be someone they’re not. Everybody sort of seems the same. Do girls pose with phallic-shaped vegetables to impress guys?? If more people acted real and stopped posing with cucumbers I think the world would be a better place 

Anyway, my name is VeggieLuvr. If you’re into guys who enjoy long walks on the beach, sunsets, etc. etc. etc. then you should reply back to me.

And then, a few days later, from VeggieLuvr AGAIN:

Similar scenario happened again, except this time I was at Whole Foods… You’ll never guess it, but I saw the same two girls AGAIN, both taking pictures of each other. Maybe they think that putting up pictures of themselves in the produce section displays their humanity? Now I’m just confused… 

I’d love to talk more about crazy girls and phallic shaped vegetables, but I’m a bit pressed for time right now. You can either get back to me here or just text me at 201-555-5555.

And then, because I had a sneaking suspicion that this was some sort of formulaic bullshit, I did a quick google search. Lo and behold, I was not the only recipient of the veggie lovin’ OKC message. What is this world coming to?

I just.

No.

PS. It’s way too hot for love anyway. I’d rather spend my evenings making out with my air conditioner and getting intimate with some 16 Handles.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s