Snatched: Just Live Your Life (Week 3)

I contemplated just skipping this week/post all together and resuming next week. But that wouldn’t be honest now, would it?

I’m going to tell you this: I spent Memorial Day Weekend pretending that I had never even heard of Snatched. 

Yes, it was that bad. 

I ate bagels. I drank champagne. Oh so much champagne. There was pasta. I didn’t count calories. I didn’t meet any protein goals. 

I failed. 

But you know what? This process is a journey. And so I’m going to provide my update anyway. And I’m going to not dwell on my supposed “failure”. Instead, I’m going to pat myself on the back for getting back on track on Monday. [This is sort of a mini update cause I don’t think that posting pictures would be all that enlightening, and I didn’t really take any measurements.]

On Friday, I weighed 147.2 (a total of 2.5 pounds lost in less than two weeks! Hooray!).

On Monday, I weighed 151.6. Yes, that is MORE than my starting weight. (CRINGE!)

As of today, I am almost back to my Friday weight. 

The reason for my transgression? I got to see my beautiful cousin get married. And you know what? It was worth it. The wedding was absolutely gorgeous. The couple was so happy. The speeches were heart warming. I got to spend wonderful time with my amazing family. The event was just joyful all around.

And I’m not going to beat myself up about it, cause I told myself I wasn’t doing that anymore. You just have to live your life. The end. 

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Jen, Pam, and Me at the rehearsal dinner
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PAMMY LIVING LIFE!

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I’m a Mean Girl

“Ew. You think THAT looks good on you? Your stomach bulge is showing up the Dunkin’ Donuts Coffee Cake muffin.”

“You are SO awful with money, you might as well just burn it when it comes into your hands.”

“Well thanks to the fact that you BOMBED this audition season, you’re going to spend the entire summer sweltering in the New York City humidity. Sucks to be you.”

These are all things I’ve said. TO MYSELF.

I’m a mean girl in my own brain. 

This negative self-talk has to stop. 

I think the only possible way to combat this negativity is the Barney Stinson way. 

 

So from now on, whenever the Regina George that lives in my brain starts to flap her yap all over me, I’m just going to be awesome instead. 

I’m not even going to pretend this is a simple thing to do. USUALLY, I’m so far down the negativity path before I even realize I’ve strayed from the Main Road of Positivity. And then it’s too late. I haven’t dropped any breadcrumbs. The damage has been done. 

So how do I catch myself BEFORE I get to the point of no return? Maybe I can offer myself preemptive compliments throughout the day. Maybe I should start keeping a gratitude journal. Maybe I can just wake up every morning and remind myself to be more kind. Maybe I should get a tattoo that reminds me to be kind. [That is not a joke.] Suggestions? Anyone want to accompany me to the tattoo parlor?

PS. Now I really want a Dunkin Donuts Coffeecake Muffin. Luckily we don’t have DD in California. 

Snatched: Ya Gotta Have Faith (Week 2)

I finished Week 1! It’s been an exercise in, um, letting go. I signed up for Snatched because I was so blown away by the consistently amazing results. So, when I’ve had the urge to add additional gym time to my week or eat fewer calories than I’m required to, I’ve (mostly) resisted. If it worked for other people, I just have to trust the program and know that it will work for me, too.

That is REALLY hard for me. REALLY.

But I’m resisting the urge to do what feels comfortable and familiar, because… well… I wouldn’t need to be in Snatched if what was comfortable and familiar gave me the results I wanted.

This past week, the following items have been lifesavers:

1. Kitchen Scissors – When I was little, I remember my best friend’s mom using her kitchen scissors to cut up meat, and I was totally skeeved out by it. The thought of cutting meat with scissors made me really uncomfortable. I’m not really sure why. Now, I can’t live without the scissors! The knife set in my kitchen cost me $30 at Bed Bath and Beyond. There are 12 knives in the set. That indicates the quality of the knives. The scissors have made food prep SO much easier, especially when I’m cooking massive amounts of protein [like two pounds of bacon or a pound of chicken] to prep for the week.

2. Tupperware-ish Containers – My fridge/freezer are loaded with pre-made meals. They are all already measured out and ready to be heated up. Every morning, I eat this sweet potato, turkey bacon, cheese frittata that I am OBSESSED with. I want to eat it for every meal. It’s so nice to have something SO delicious in the morning that I just have to pop into the microwave. Breakfast is currently my favorite meal of the day. Incidentally, my friend Kristen has put the fear of god in me concerning putting plastic in the microwave. [Apparently it causes cancer, but… what doesn’t these days?] Though I haven’t completely given up the habit, I’ve become more aware. The problem is that if I have the food stored in a plastic container, and I transfer it to another vessel for heating, that creates twice the amount of dishes.

3. Food Scale – My mom bought me a food scale for Christmas a few years ago [it’s The Biggest Loser brand cause I’m addicted to that show], but it’s never gotten as much action as it has the last two weeks. [To be honest, the first time it was ever used was for the purpose of weighing some weed. Thanks, Mom!] It has made a GIGANTIC difference for me and my peace of mind – knowing exactly what I’m eating, and how much.

4. Skillet – It made the frittata. Enough said.

5. Amazing Support – The support has been so wonderful. I got an email from one of the trainers [in response to something super strife-y and angst-ridden that I had sent to her], and she wrote back “You only know how to win!” It really, REALLY struck a chord with me. I turned it into a fourth grade art project and plastered it on my mirror in my room. [I made it with my Pentel markers from the yellow portfolio, which was REALLY fulfilling.]

Win

Ok, so here’s how it’s progressed. In my dream world, I would have lost 6 pounds this week, but… I guess that wasn’t a super realistic dream. Most importantly, I feel like I can see definition beginning to peek through in places that it didn’t exist before [visible ONLY to my hyper-critical eye and no one else’s]. So far as the pictures below go, I don’t see a huge difference in the first two, but I can see a difference in the profile view [maybe I’m just imagining it, but I’m just going to let my imagination run rampant in this scenario].

NumbersWeek2 FrontWeek2Week 1 || Week 2BackWeek2

Week 1 || Week 2

SideWeek2
Week 1 || Week 2

Diet Coke: Just Say No

This PSA is brought to you by water. It is most definitely NOT brought to you by the Coca Cola company. 

The only actual resolution that I made this year was to give up drinking soda. If I am being perfectly honest here, I used to consume a ridiculous amount of Diet Coke, Coke Zero, and Diet Doctor Pepper. I drank it for hydration. I would estimate that on any given day, I probably consumed around 40 ounces of artificially sweetened, carbonated beverages and 10-30 ounces of real, actual water. [Incidentally, I think I spent a good majority of my adult life severely dehydrated.]

I know. That’s pretty disgusting.

I had given up soda once before, but I filled the void with Diet Iced Green Tea, so I was really just substituting one artificially sweetened, chemical-laden beverage for another.

Now, I’m not a scientist (obviously), nor am I a doctor (much to the chagrin of my bank account). All I know is what I’ve gathered from my personal observation: Diet Soda is filled with nasty chemicals and we should all RUN in the opposite direction.

When I was drinking diet soda everyday, my skin looked like this:

ImageFall 2001. Very first home football game at Notre Dame. Super broken out. Also, none of my friends told me that I put my decal on upside down. We didn’t know each other that well yet. 

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Summer 2008. TOO SWEATY TO COVER UP WITH MAKEUP! Ugh. 

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Spring 2010. Still broken out [but so happy to have found my wifey ;)].

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Summer 2012. My face is strategically turned to hide the abomination residing on the hidden side of my face. 

I used ProActiv. I had a prescription for Retin-A. I always felt like I was teetering on the edge of having really great skin. It would all start to look like it was clearing up, and then suddenly I would have another major breakout. [I got pretty good at covering up the offending skin with makeup.]

Now, I know what you’re thinking:

1. Erin, this is because you weren’t drinking enough water. It’s not the soda’s fault!

OR

2. Erin, I drink soda [in moderation!] and my skin is perfect!

I have two responses:

1. Fair. It’s true that I am drinking much more water now. I’ll concede this point.

AND

2. Ok. Sure. Moderation in everything. BUT it’s undeniable that there is some nasty-ass shit in that 20 oz bottle of deliciousness. Maybe I just happened to be super UNLUCKY in that the nasty effects of the soda manifested themselves on my skin. Maybe it’s wreaking havoc on your kidneys, liver, stomach, intestines, blood, heart, whatever, and leaving your skin alone. Just because you can’t see what those nasty chemicals are doing to you doesn’t mean that they are not awful.

I’ve been “off the sauce” since January 1st, and my skin has never been this clear in my whole entire life. Coincidence? I think not.

Here’s a lil selfie that I took this morning. I am not wearing a stitch of makeup. [Ok. That’s a lie. There’s some mascara residue on my eyes from two days ago. You can’t win ’em all…]

photo (6)Look, Ma! No breakouts!

If you truly are what you eat [and, by extension: drink], I’d much rather be water than aspartame, acesulfame-K.

And, if you REALLY want a soda, drink a regular one. At least you can pronounce more of those ingredients.

A Tale of Two Pick Up Lines

Oh, the joys of being a lady on the streets of New York City: it’s probably best to take all events, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only. [Thanks, Dickens]

Scenario One: Age of Foolishness

I was walking up my street to procure some chocolate and beer [pre-Snatched, naturally]. While chatting on the phone with my mom, I could feel the person next to me pacing me. I slowed down a bit and caught a glimpse of a very tall gentleman out of the corner of my eye. As I slowed down, he did as well. It was so surprising, that I just stopped walking while still trying to carry on a conversation. 

He stopped, too. And stood in front of me. 

“Can I help you?”

“Whoa. You don’t need to be like that. I just wanted to ask you for your phone number.”

“Uh. No. Sorry.”

“Yeah… You should be…”

And then he walked away. 

WHAT!? You guys.

WHY would you think it’s ok to just ask someone for their phone number when you’ve never said HELLO or even asked their name?! WHY?! 

Scenario Two: Age of Wisdom

Yesterday, after leaving my first Snatched class and strolling across 40th Street, from behind me I heard a gentleman say, “Excuse me, miss. You dropped something.”

I turned back to see what could have possibly fallen out of my bag. I didn’t see anything on the ground. 

“It was your halo…”

I laughed. I couldn’t help it. It was so cheesy and wonderful at the same time. “Why, thank you!”

“No. Thank YOU. God bless you.”

 

Snatched: Let’s Start At The Very Beginning (Week 1)

Maybe I’m alone here, but I’m OBSESSED with body transformations: The Biggest Loser, 3 Fat Chicks, Mark Fisher Before and After Photos… You get the gist. I’m just really inspired by people’s ability to set a goal and achieve it. So, consequently, I’m going to document my Snatched journey here. If you don’t want to see pictures of me in my bikini with all of my jiggly bits on display, you can just skip this here blog for the next six Mondays.

I took some before photos and measurements this morning, and I’m going to share them here. For someone who is HYPER-critical of her body, I have to say: I didn’t cringe when I saw these. Maybe I’m becoming a little bit more forgiving of myself in my old age. [Or maybe I can just thank the glorious natural light in my living room and somewhat fuzzy Photobooth photos.] Anyway, I want to make this journey a positive one, so I’m going to say this: I’m just excited to see where I will be six weeks from now!

Also, I don’t actually have a starting weight. My scale chose THIS morning to be… ahem… uncooperative.

Side note: I have had my scale [purchased at The Sharper Image] since 2006. I spent way too much money on that scale because I had learned a very valuable lesson my senior year of college. My roommate and I purchased a scale at Target for approximately $5. Every time I stepped on that scale, it read 155 pounds. Imagine my surprise when I graduated, arrived home in California, stepped on my mom’s scale, and it read 171.4! As it turns out, you get what you pay for. And if you want to be in denial, that will only cost you $5. Incidentally, that is the most I have ever weighed in my life, and if I ever, ever start to creep close to that, I know that some changes need to be made [and also, that’s a good indication that I’m in the throes of depression].

Anyway, my scale has been on the fritz for the last year or so. I’m pretty sure it needed a new battery. As I prepared to weigh myself for my pre-Snatched numbers this morning, I decided to investigate this battery issue. [I assure you, my insistence upon investigating the battery issue had NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with the fact that I was displeased with the number on the scale. NOT AT ALL. NO-SIREE-BOB.] Anyway, as I tried to figure out what was wrong with the scale, I broke it. Somehow. Good riddance.

I contemplated NOT buying a new scale, so as to not be a slave to the numbers, but… that just isn’t feasible for me. I’m co-dependent. Also, I’m currently in a DietBet challenge and I need a scale to verify my final numbers. So, I bought a new one. I’ll update my current weight tomorrow morning when I weigh myself.

Ok, so the moment you’ve all been waiting for. [Or, just me.]

The Numbers:

Height – 5’2″
Weight – In the last two weeks, my broken scale has read anywhere between 144.6-151.0. I’m sure these numbers are not to be trusted
Bust – 36.25″
Waist 1 (Natural Waist) – 28.5″
Waist 2 (1 inch below belly button) – 33″
Hips – 40″
[I also took measurements of my thighs, calves, and arms, but I won’t bore you/creep you out with those numbers… Maybe I’ll post them at the very end.]

ImageSnatched Before Photos – May 13, 2013

Anyway, we had our first class today and it was so wonderful. Mark assured us that we would hate him in a mere two weeks, but for now I’m looking forward to more classes this week!

ME

I know what you’re thinking. “Erin. It’s not enough that you write a blog? You have to write a post called ‘ME’? How fucking narcissistic can you be?” [The answer is: I can’t help it. I was born into this generation.]

MeGeneration

So. Anyway. As I was saying before you so RUDELY interrupted me…

Below I present to you:

50 Things About Erin [That You Probably Didn’t Ever Need To Know… But This Is A Blog And It’s Sort Of Requisite To Do A Post Like This].

1. I was born in San Mateo, California. Once, when I was in high school [the beginning of senior year], I had to fill out a questionnaire that asked my place of birth. I wrote “Mills Hospital, San Mateo, CA”. The teacher of that class decided to make an example of me, saying something along the lines of “Answer the damn question. I don’t need to know what hospital you were born in…” 13 years later, I beg to differ: those sorts of details are the spice of life, man!

2. As a child, I used to play a game in my head that I called “The Clock Game”, wherein I constructed addition/subtraction/multiplication/division problems based on the time displayed on the clock. It was like a compulsion. I had to make the numbers somehow all fit together. [I was a strange child.] Eventually, I grew out of the game. I think my mental math skills have suffered as a result.

3. I have very strong feelings about uncooked tomatoes. If they are cherry tomatoes, I only like to eat them if they are sliced in half. I don’t like tomatoes cut into wedges. I like them on a sandwich, but only if they are very thin. I would NEVER eat one like an apple. I love them very finely diced. It’s strange, though, because I am one of the least picky eaters I’ve ever met.

4. My ethnic background is Irish, Swedish, and French, and my name mimics that: Erin (Irish) Michelle (French) Sjostrom (Swedish).

5. My mom wanted to name me Crystal which would have totally fucked up the scenario in item #4. [What would be my nickname? Crystie? I can’t even imagine.]

6. I’ve slept in a queen-sized bed since I was 14 years old. I fear that when the day comes when I have to permanently share a bed with someone else, a California King will be required rather than simply ‘nice to have’.

7. If I had the decision to make over again, I would do my undergraduate studies at UCLA. That said, I can’t imagine my life without the friends I made at Notre Dame.

8. In most instances, I hate the color pink. This is strange because it used to be my favorite color.

9. I love Trader Joe’s Mini Peanut Butter Cups in an unhealthy way. I cannot buy them because I am capable of eating the entire package in one sitting.

10. Driving gives me anxiety.

11. Chianti is my red wine of choice.

12. I collected American Girl Dolls as a child and to this day I love them. I pretend that someday I will give them to my daughter, but the truth of the matter is I don’t trust that unborn girl to take as good of care of those dolls as I did. She’s going to have to REALLY prove her responsibility before I let her have my prized possessions. [I’m kidding. Sorta. Not really.]

13. I am horrible with money. Awful. I might as well throw it away the moment it lands in my bank account.

14. I’m really good at Google. Like sorta scary good. Because of that, I sometimes think that I should go and work for the FBI like in Criminal Minds.

15. Lime is a trump-card ingredient for me. If I go to a restaurant and lime is listed in a menu item description, you can bet that I will order it.

16. I can flip my tongue upside-down in both directions. I used to list this as a special skill on my resume until someone told me that it sounded sexual and I should take it off.

17. I learned how to juggle to play Junie B. Jones. I wish I was better at it.

18. Someday, if I have a lot of money, I plan to give a whole bunch of it to Theatreworks USA cause I think they do some really amazing work.

19. Today (May 10) is the anniversary of my Dad’s death. I wish that I had known him as an adult.

20. My freshman year of college, I used to copy a girl’s math homework. She let me, and I didn’t feel bad about it, because the class was WAY too hard for me, and she was going to be an engineer and I was going to be an actress.

21. I don’t think I believe in monogamy as a governing principle for our society. I love the idea in theory, but I don’t think it’s sustainable. Maybe if we could broaden our collective outlook, we might save ourselves a lot of heartbreak in the long run. [Listen. The jury is still out here. But that’s what I think right now. And, honestly, it makes me sad.]

22. I never use abbreviations like “u” or “r” or “ur” in my text messages. I cringe when I receive text messages containing them. [That’s not to say that I don’t love a good abbrev. I totes do. Just not THOSE particular abbrevs.]

23. I really like going to baseball games. When I was 4, my dad took me to an A’s game and I saw Mark McGuire and Jose Canseco play as rookies. He told me that it was important. I’m pretty proud of that fact now. Bash Brothers!

24. I talk to my mom everyday. Phone. G-chat. Text. Smoke signals. Telepathy. All manners of communication.

25. 99% of the time, I’m an open book. I’m a total over-share-er.

26. I don’t know that much about Zodiac signs, but sometimes when I meet a boy that I am interested in, I’ll google to find out if our signs are compatible. Usually the answer is no.

27. I have a [not so irrational] fear of bed bugs. In 2010 I contemplated moving back to California because my bed bug anxiety was so intense. [No, I’ve never had them.]

28. Sometimes I feel sad.

29. Feeling weightless is euphoric for me. Roller coasters, being in the water, jumping on a trampoline – those are all pretty close to nirvana.

30. I have perfect vision.

31. My thighs are the bane of my existence.

32. I’ve been seeing my therapist for a year. I think it’s going well.

33. About a year and a half ago, I went through a naked-pic sending phase. I had lost weight and was feeling really great about my body. Sending the pics was totally empowering to me. I loved doing it. [A lesson I learned before ever sending a naked picture: don’t include your face if you are sending them into questionable hands.  But honestly… who cares? It’s just a naked body. Unless you plan to run for President, a few naked pics aren’t going to hurt anyone.]

34. My biggest fear is never meeting my soul-mate and being alone forever.

35. I didn’t get my period until I was almost 15. I was convinced that there was something wrong with me and I was never going to be able to have children. At night, I would pray that it would come.

36. I don’t think I could ever live more than an hour away from the ocean [any ocean]. I am totally in awe of it.

37. I love looking at other people’s wedding and baby photos on facebook. LOVE. I can’t get enough of them.

38. I have never been a girl who planned her wedding. Maybe I’m cynical about marriage because my parents got divorced when I was so young. The only regular wedding-related thoughts I ever have concern the food. Seriously.

39. Things that I’ve criticized/hated on and then come around to: Facebook, Kindle/eReaders, Twitter, red wine. You CAN teach an old dog new tricks!

40. If I could go back in time and see any Broadway show, it would be Funny Girl.

41. The Boy From Oz was my very first Broadway show and it was MAGICAL.

42. A few years ago, I started paying for my own health insurance [even when I was unemployed] because I realized I was paying more to maintain the *ahem* NATURAL *ahem* color of my hair than it would cost me to insure my health and well-being.

43. Even though I haven’t really lived there in twelve years, I still think that California is the greatest state. I was never more proud to be a Californian than when I moved to Indiana.

44. I hoard receipts. I don’t know what I EVER plan to do with them, but I have a hard time throwing them away.

45. 50 percent of the time, I want to have a boob job. The rest of the time I think, “Who would EVER insert something artificial into their body?!”

46. Sometimes I feel myself apologizing [with my body language, or qualifiers when I speak, or being generally self-dismissive] and then I get all angry-feminist at myself. I think “A man would never behave/think/speak that way!” It’s hard being a lady. We are so programmed to make apologies for ourselves and then we have to deal with the awareness of it all! WE CAN’T WIN!

47. I can name where I purchased [or from whom i received] every single article of clothing that I own, even my underwear. [Is that weird?]

48. I never read any of my industry’s websites [playbill.com, broadway.com, etc.] I feel guilty about it, but I also don’t really have a desire to start.

49. I shave my toes. [I’m actually embarrassed to admit that. Oh well. This list wouldn’t have been worthwhile if it was all easy… Also, lest you think this was the only hard-to-confess item: it wasn’t.]

50. Summer always feels like a new beginning to me. The end of summer always comes too quickly. Why doesn’t the end of WINTER always come too quickly?